Worth and Failure ~ Who Decides

 

I am inspired to write this blog by a dear online friend I had not “seen” for a while who has been having some life difficulties and wrote about it. She has a lovely blog, and I will add her link to the end of this post so you can visit. The topic she wrote about was failure, or perceived failure, and how it had touched her life and made her feel. She was very brave writing about her deepest feelings…and it touched my heart. What also touched my heart were the responses of love and support she received. And the threads of a blog took hold…

I have written about self-worth and failure before…but this is different. Because I think it is time we set aside our self-flogging weapons and face the fact that we are…Amazing Beings…just as we are.

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Here we are…getting up each day to face a horrific world scenario to navigate through, while trying to carve out some life and peace while we are here…very important tasks to be sure! And what do we spend most of our precious thoughts, energy, and efforts on?

In a day, how many times do we berate ourselves, chastise, and mentally beat ourselves up for what we perceive as our failures or inabilities to conquer life, problems, worry, and stress. How much of our inner dialogue is scolding ourselves for not being “more” or criticizing who we are and how we do things? And how much of this inner dialogue is inspired by “what we perceive others are thinking about us”? Or for that matter, telling us in some instances. How many minutes, hours in a day do we spend negatively talking to ourselves?

And…where is it written that we have to believe any of it?

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Our old friend, the trickster Fear, is driving that negative bus…and we need to take his license away.

We Fear not being good enough, not doing enough, not being enough or the right way or what everyone else thinks we should be. We Fear that if we do not conform or keep moving and rushing and “doing” that we will not be seen as intelligent or successful or worse…lovable. We Fear if we are not “perfect”, we will not be accepted and loved. Fear gets under our skin…so most of the time we pretend we know what we are doing with ourselves…but underneath, we mourn our true self and life. And we flog ourselves even more for not only failing everyone else, but ourselves as well.

IT’S EXHAUSTING!! When you look at it that way.

And you know the other funny thing? When someone shares with us their feelings of failure…we rush to support them, lift them up, encourage them, and inspire them to see that they are not failures and are worthy lovable individuals, as we should. We would never let someone we love dearly go on feeling bad about themselves without doing something to help them past it.

So…why are we not doing this with ourselves?

Why do we allow ourselves to do the very thing to ourselves that we reassure and urge others not to do and believe? And why do we so readily believe the negative feedback we get, when we tell others to ignore it? Where is that positive cheerleader…for ourselves?

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It is time, my Lovely Friends…to put this to rest. There is so much going on that needs our attention, and our positive thoughts, deeds, and light energy. We can’t possibly have enough time or stamina for that attention if we are spending it all on shaming ourselves and fear. We must not give in to the negative energy flow, we must turn it away…it only distracts us from what is really important. Which is being and living our authentic lives…and helping others and this world out of its mess. Put the self-flogging weapons down…it is only then that we will be able to see how wonderful we really are. (Read on for tricks on how to do this).

Here’s the thing ~ We do not need to be stuck on needing to have any “special” gifts…

Because we ARE the special gift…just as we are…our authentic and true self.

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So, let’s change our inner dialogue to reflect that belief. Change the negative feedback to positive input. How do we do that? By actively taking steps to retrain our minds to listen to the good rather than the bad.

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Try this: write post it notes with positive affirmations and put them up on your bathroom mirror so you read them every morning. (My daughter did this and wow, what a powerful tool!) Leave “dear self” love notes for yourself all over the house. For every negative thought you have, follow it with a positive one. Over ride it with messages of encouragement, to yourself. Tell yourself everything you would tell someone else to lift them up, cheer and inspire them. Give yourself the love you give to others. Put a reminder in your phone or ipad that comes up at various times in the day reminding you that you are amazing and wonderful just as you are. If you hear negativity in the day…wouldn’t it be great to see a different message follow? Make recordings of your voice telling you what is wonderful about you. Actively change how you talk to yourself, your patterns…even if you don’t “believe” it in the beginning, keep at it, because the mind absorbs what we tell it. Soon, you will find your thought patterns will shift…and so will your life.

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Decide you are not a failure. It is your decision alone. Just make that decision right now. You are who you are, so how could you possibly be a failure if you are being you.  It is not up to anyone else who we are or whether we are worthy. It is entirely up to us…and what we believe about ourselves will tell others what to believe too.

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Make You your best friend. And give yourself the gift of compassion and worthiness…just as you give to others. Tell yourself this, often…you deserve it!

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Blessings!

Weekend Inspiration ~ Self-Esteem

 

 

In yesterday’s post, there is a quote about Self-Esteem and Self-Worth, letting us know that it is best to look to the Self for the quality of those. And that we should not look to others or anything outside ourselves for validation of who we are and how much Self-Esteem we have for ourselves. Sometimes, this is difficult, as we have many reflections, through our work, family, spouses, circumstances, etc. But…know that, all of those “voices” do not know us like we do. We listen to those voices and often make their view our own…when it is not how we really feel.  This weekend, quiet those voices and consider our own Self-Talk, and pay attention to what our own voice says…because it is that voice within us that has the most power to make us feel good or bad about ourselves. If that inner voice tells us anything other than how magnificent we are, then lets take a deeper look at ourselves, and focus on all those magnificent and wonderful aspects of who we are. There is plenty of time to focus on the negative. (more time than we should spend!). So this weekend, let us focus on those things we love about ourselves…and let our Self-Esteem soar. Here is some inspiration to get us started. Be your Be-You-tiful selves! Blessings!

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Thoughts For The Day

 

 

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“Happiness pursued eludes, happiness given returns.” ~ Sir John Templeton
MarDrag’s Thoughts:

We may search and search, spend precious effort, time, and thought into finding Happiness…but the one way we will surely reach it…is to give…and to make someone else Happy. We have all felt that rush of Joy when we see someone smile in Happiness because of something we said or did for them. THAT, is true Happiness. Give of yourself today…and see what comes back to you.

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“They are called “SELF-worth” and “SELF-esteem” for a reason… we can’t let others decide what we are worth! Empower yourself!” ~ Jaeda DeWalt

MarDrag’s Thoughts:

Indeed, this quote is profound in pointing out the Self in those two words. Two issues we all struggle with at times. And so, we must look to the Self for its Worth and Esteem because no one can give that to us or decide for us how much we feel. It is from how we view ourselves that Worth and Esteem grow. If we leave it to others, it will never be as much as we innately know we deserve. We should measure our Self-Worth and Self-Esteem by our own barometer, and if it is low, look within to raise it. We know best who we are.

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“I am never alone wherever I am. The air itself supplies me with a century of love. When I breathe in, I am breathing in the laughter, tears, victories, passions, thoughts, memories, existence, joys, moments, and the hues of the sunlight of many tones of skin. I am breathing in the same air that was exhaled by many before me. The air that bore them life. And so, how can I ever say that I am alone?” ~ C. Joybell C.

MarDrag’s Thoughts:

I just found this quote so lovely and had to share it. It speaks of such unity, such Oneness. May we all remember we are not alone, simply because we are here, among the All.

Monday Message ~ A Journey and Union

 

Good Morning! It is time to begin another week and seek our message to take with us and guide us. For that message, the Runes spoke strongly this morning, and so I take the stones in hand, draw close “The Book of Runes” by Ralph Blum…and seek their words of wisdom. The stone that presented itself for today is:

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Raido:   “A Journey, Communication, Union”

Message (paraphrased): “Raido is another Rune in the cycle of Self-Transformation. This Rune is concerned with communication, with the attunement of something that has two sides, two elements, and with the ultimate reunion that comes at the end of a journey, when what is above and what is below are united and of one mind. Moreover, this union is realized from within rather than through the force of circumstances.

Inner worth mounts here, and at such a time, we must remember that we are not intended to rely entirely upon our own power, but rather to ask what constitutes right action. Ask the teacher within. Once you are clear, you can neutralize your refusal to let right action flow through you. Not intent on movement, be content to wait, and keep removing all resistance, As the obstructions give way, all remorse arising from “trying to make it happen” disappears.

As always, the journey is toward Self-Healing, Self-Change, and Union. But the perfect union of Heaven and Earth, above and below, cannot be forced. Trust your own process – that is the essence of this Rune. Keep on cutting away illusions. Raido urges you to undertake your Journey, your Quest – and if you have already begun…to continue.”

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from The Desk of MarDrag:

And so, steadfastly on our journeys, Raido tells us to continue…to not give up now…that the union within, of above and below, is imminent. That is, our spiritual self and our mundane physical self are within reach of union. And is that not what we strive for? To combine our spiritual life with our everyday life, and make them one, as a perfect union, so that we may live and enjoy our lives, fulfill our life’s purpose and realize our dreams. Stay with that!

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Though we may look for answers or validation of this union from circumstances around us, Raido tells us that the realization comes from within, and not forced through what happens to us. It also tells us that we are not alone in this, that forces are at work around us, and so we must wait at times for those forces to complete their task before we can resume ours. BUT…in that waiting period, we are not idle. This is the time to work on ourselves and clear away all obstructions and resistance, to open the channel, and then ask our inner Wiser Self what is the “right action”. As we listen and continue to clear away resistance to the circumstances we are faced with, then right action can flow through us and we can let go of “trying to make it happen” and allow it to happen as it is meant to be. As it is right, for us.

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In the post last week “The Point of Balance”, I spoke about the way to finding balance is to see a thing as the whole of what it is so we can have a better perspective on it and seek the right solution. Raido also speaks to this today, and tells us to look at the two sides as we bring them together in union to form the whole of it…and then we can understand it better and remove resistance to it in that understanding, thereby allowing the proper action to come to us.

Our life’s Journey is always toward the Self and the perfect union of above and below within. Trust that Journey, that process. If you are not sure where that Journey is taking you, stand firm, remove obstructions and resistance to it, and allow the forces without and within, above and below, to merge into a perfect flow of Power and Rightness to guide you on your Quest. And do not ever give up on that Journey. You are needed and cherished and loved.

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Blessings!