A Bit of Me

 

So, today is Friday the 13th…and I am feeling a bit mischievous. Last week, I stepped out of a comfort zone and posted one of my poems. I am deeply shy about sharing my poetry and do not do it often. But, I received some very nice comments and requests for more, and what writer can resist that? So…I am going out on another limb (look at me hanging!), and I am posting another one today.

This poem I wrote quite some years ago when my life was in turmoil and I went into hiding and wandered into the cave of desolation. I thought it would be better there and I would find some peace, but I found out differently, as the end of the poem says.

Although…this is also when the Dragons began to come to me in that cave…and save me. But that is a delicious story for another time. Blessings!

Winter Yard

THIS NIGHT

I sit

Here

Staring out my window

At the barrenness

Of a winter yard

A chill lays upon the branches

And flurries through the air

And I am dismal

Wondering where, oh where

Has my passion gone?

I read

Of lives and loves

Won and lost

Words spilling over me

Thinking, yes,

Somewhere, sometime

I have felt like that,

Passion overflowing

Intense and sweet

As if each moment were

Full to the brim with heat

Desire, love and longing

I used to fear and scorn

Such emotions as these

And longed for a day that

I would not feel so deeply

And therefore be freed from pain.

Alas, now I despair

That through my want of solitude

And distance from the pain that love can bring

I have set myself too far from that love

And now, in solitude

I wish the pain to conquer my breast again

So that I may know that I am alive.

Change and A Poem

 

I have been talking to so many people this week…friends, family and clients…who all have Changes occurring in their lives. Some are welcome, some unexpected, and some (seemingly) negative. I have been writing on the blog here about Change a great deal lately, as it seems to be making itself known in many ways.

Now, I do not usually talk a lot about myself on a personal level…but it occurred to me to share something with you all on the topic of Change. Some while ago, I went through major change in my life too…a tunnel of Change that, while in the middle of it, was difficult and seemed like it would never end. I did not know how my life would look when I came out of that tunnel…but it lead me to exactly where I am supposed to be. Which is living my Life’s Purpose and following my Destiny. If you had asked me years ago if this is where I would end up, I would not have known it. So, everything I went through was perfect in that it lead me here.

I am a poet, and so wish to share a poem that I wrote about this Change…in hopes that it will touch one or any of you who are experiencing the same and do not know yet where it will lead. It is about being stripped bare by Change, being vulnerable, searching for an answer, and finding one in an unlikely place. I hope you enjoy it and that it helps you “see” the possibilities of what is to come. Blessings!

THE NEW DRESS

So many people about

Bodies everywhere

In close confines, no air

And garments hung from racks

So many colors

Weaves and textures

Heat and aromas

Seethe the senses

Standing among it all

Trying

To absorb

And to find my place

To find my clothes

That have gone missing

My clothes, my clothes

Where are my clothes?

I search the racks

For my black skirt

I must find my black skirt

For without it I am not myself

I ask

But answers are not known

And do not come

Still I search

Oft frantically

Certain I had seen

My black skirt

So close by

And then

To my dismay

I look down at myself

To see in deep remorse

That I am naked

Naked to the bone

Exposed for all to see

And mortified at that

So hastily I reach

To clutch a garment

So close my hand can touch

I throw it over my head

Just to cover myself

And top it with a coat at that

For good measure

I am concealed now

But without comfort

Of my usual clothes

My black skirt, I lament

Until I pass

A looking glass

And at a glance

I peer within

From my eye’s corner

What ho!

I exclaim

As I turn about

Direct

To step closer

To look closer

What reflection is this

That I barely recognize

Within this sparkling glass

Who, I see

Looking back at me

Appears to be

A version Changed of me

I regard her

As I shrug the coat

From my shoulders

To see what lies beneath

And oh! What I see!

The Dress, the Dress

Draped about me

Deepest black in color

Muted satin

With velvet corset

Silver eyelets laced

And cinched

Around a pearly bosom

The tiniest gasp

Escapes my lips

As the coat cascades

Down my arms and off

Revealing delicate

Finely knitted lace

Sleeves caressing

The arms of this

New being

I gaze at the apparition

Before me

In surprise

At the beauty that I see

Is it really me?

And the Dress! the Dress!

How lovely is it

That I think

To myself

What loss is there

What need have I now

For that black skirt

Gone missing

And not found

For this Dress, this Dress

Fit me it does

I see

More perfect

Than I thought of me

Chains Of Our Own Making 2

 

I had a message from a reader the other day who asked me to post this blog from last year and to expound on the message within. So, I pulled this from the archives and added a bit more to the paragraphs under the poem. It is my express wish that the reader, and all of you, find something worthwhile and helpful in these words. Blessings!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was going through some notebooks and old writings yesterday, looking for something,  and I came upon one of my own books of poetry, many pages written through out the years. I began leafing through it and came across a poem that had always been a favorite, because it was so raw and intimate, yet every person, every being, can relate to its sentiment. I rarely share my poetry, but you are all so special to me, and I already share my deepest thoughts with you, so I decided to print this one in the blog today. I hope you don’t mind!

It speaks to the thoughts and actions that we wrap around ourselves, that we cannot, for some reason, see they hinder or hurt us, or keep us from moving forward. often, the chains that bind us are the ones of our own making:

DEAR SELF (by MS)

Oh dear

Dear self

What chains have I wrapped ’round thee

Twisted

Bound thee from thy freedom

Holding thee

Lamenting thy true nature

As I stutter and stumble

For the causing of those chains

In rapt attention to their lot

In feverish passion to unravel their mystery

Near forgetting the freedom

Kept within

Haplessly leaving thee bound

from the Desk of MarDrag:

When we become so enamored with the problems, stress and discontent that is in our lives, we can become consumed, with the fury of a focus that is directed on those problems. And within the intensity of that focus, those things become like chains that we wrap around us, holding us tense and rigid. And so, we become enamored with the chains themselves, frantically trying to figure out what they are and why they are there, how to unlock them or lamenting their presence. We cannot tear ourselves away from the chains. And while we fixate on those chains, we forget that within them is where our freedom is held. We forget or are unaware that we are the architect of those chains, the steel worker that forged the links that now keep us held tight and unable to move, or even think clearly. And we may ignore the fact that, at some point, we allowed them to wrap around and hinder us.

But, at any given moment, we have the power to choose to discard them and free ourselves from that which WE have decided we are bound by. We made them, or we allowed them…so we can unlock them. We have the key. We always have another choice…no matter how out of our realm of comfort it may seem…we nevertheless always have the freedom to make another choice.

So, take a look at the chains tethered around you today and ponder at the choice that you might make to discard them. Choices are always abundant. Moving to Hawaii or some exotic place is a choice. You may not make that choice, but it is, nevertheless, an option that is there, as are so many other options available. We may have trapped ourselves within those chains, but outside them and around us, still, is a swirling haze of opportunities, choices, and solutions…if we could look outside just one link…and catch a glimpse. That is all it takes…one glance through one small link…and it can change our entire perspective. Once our sight and focus sways from the chains themselves, then we have a chance to see what we are bound by with a wider clarity, and we can melt those chains away.

Sometimes, we do have to step out of our comfort zone in order to step out of the chains. But we gain that comfort back when we choose to free ourselves. For that is our true nature…a free soul.

Blessings!