What Of This Misery ~ An Epiphany


“I’ve learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our disposition and not on our circumstances.” ~ Martha Washington

“There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy.” ~ Dante Alighieri

“Happiness is a garden walled with glass: there’s no way in or out. In Paradise there are no stories, because there are no journeys. It’s loss and regret and misery and yearning that drive the story forward, along its twisted road.” ~ Margaret Atwood

“If there’s one thing I’ve discovered, it’s that stifling yourself will only lead to more misery. I polluted all other happiness because I was afraid to let myself create and change. You have to have courage. Real courage to explore, to fail, and to pick yourself back up again.” ~ Siobhan Vivian

Misery 1

from The Desk of MarDrag:

I have been talking to people lately about Happiness and Misery. About positive and negative. And about the focus we put on one or the other, and what grows from that as a result. So many are experiencing some level of Misery in their lives and are finding it difficult to step out of it, or turn their attention to the positive and good things in their lives or in the world too. It is very easy to succumb to Misery…its tentacles reach deeply within us, and it knows just where to clutch to reach the deepest…and then twist.

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I was in meditation the other morning, when some profound thoughts about Misery made their way into my mind. And they were this:

Misery is the sum of negative or hurtful things that have happened to us. As pain or regret or all the myriad of emotions that come from hurt, betrayal, and fear take up residence in our hearts and minds…they form a cloud of Misery. That cloud hangs above our heads and follows us, raining down on us and making us Miserable…until we can work through or break free of whatever had caused those emotions. Sometimes it is easier, and we move past it back into Happiness. But, sometimes, the path is long and arduous and full of reasons and circumstances that feed our Misery.

It is here that a revelation came to me. Misery…is our Proof! It is proof that what we went through meant something, or still does mean something. It is proof we felt something, experienced something profound and deep. It is proof of our reasons to be unhappy. It is evidence that we have suffered. And, if we let go of the Misery…are we afraid that it will negate our suffering as if it never happened? If we allow ourselves to be happy, does that mean we never suffered, or that it was not as bad as we thought? If we let go of our Misery, will it render no more meaning to that which we went through that led us to that Misery? And, if it did render our suffering meaningless…what would that mean for us? That all the steps we take toward growth and happiness in the name of pain are unfounded? And ho!…would that make us frustrated, angry, and upset to think that the rough times we have been through would end up meaning naught.

Is this why we hold onto Misery? To Prove, and have Evidence, that we have Suffered, and that it meant something, and had profound impact, on us, someone else, or the world?

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That is a tangled web…is it not…if it be true?

For, in order to be Happy, we must relent and let go of Misery. Not that we can expel it completely, for Misery IS a part of life’s experiences…but that we live with Misery…rather than in it. And in order to do that, we have to stop wanting to prove how bad our lives have been, and start looking at what is good now, and what good we can create for the future. Nothing and no one can ever erase the circumstances we experienced or the hurt they created. And they will always mean something, because they are part of what has made us who we are today. So…they can never be negated. We…and our suffering…can never be negated as long as we have acknowledged what has transpired and the feelings it caused. But then, we need to let go.

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We cannot escape occasional Misery. But, we can give it a different perspective. And ask ourselves…How long do we want to have to prove how bad it was/is and how right we are by living in Misery? And how soon do we want to move on and open our hearts, minds, and souls to showing how well we survived it all…and how much good we are making in our lives.

The best revenge they say…is Living Well.



Tuesday Affirmations ~ Healing Pain


It is time for Tuesday Affirmations and so I have before me my deck “Gifts of Affirmations” by Amy Zerner and Monte Farber. I splay them out on my desk, run my hands over them, wait for the heat and energy to reach my palm…and then ask for our message for this week. Here is the card that came to my hand:

The Gift of Healing:   “I Am Free Of Pain And Suffering”

Message:Use this gift to remember who you really are. Breathe slowly and deeply as you remember that you are a soul moving onward and upward. You are not your name. You are not what you do. You are not your body. Visualize beautiful birds removing your pain and suffering with their golden beaks and flying away to drop them all in the vast ocean.”

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from The Desk of MarDrag:

I love the first sentence in this affirmation…”…remember who you really are”. We have so much input in our lives, and so many things we have to manage and that happens to us. Sometimes…when we have a lot coming at us…we forget and start to listen to all those voices outside us that tell us things about ourselves, whether they be true or not. We listen to those voices and we begin to believe what they say…and we lose sight of our true self…and turn our ear away from our own inner voices. Our perceptions can become muddled, and we have trouble separating what is true, real, or our own thoughts. From this confusion…is born Pain and Suffering.

I believe pain in the physical body evolves from not being at ease with ourselves and our lives. Disease is just that…dis – ease…not at ease with the Self. It is my belief that pain is the physical manifestation of inner conflict, unhappiness, and a severe outlook on ourselves. It builds, looking for an outlet, and not finding one, uses the body as a vehicle to process through. I, myself, became ill years ago, because of this very reason. As I was going though it all, and my subsequent healing, I became acutely aware of the truth of that. That knowledge helped me heal and get well.

We are here to live this gift of life in happiness and harmony…and when we forget that that is who we are really meant to be…it causes pain. But, as the affirmation says…we are not our name, our jobs, our possessions, our fears or doubts, our troubles. We are Souls, given the gift of life to enjoy and learn and evolve through. We have command over the physical…we just forget that we do.

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If you are experiencing pain…seek to find the source of it…not just the physical source, but the soul source…and whether it be birds with golden beaks (as above) or a rushing river, a bright white light, or heat and fire…direct it to take the pain from you and cast it away. It is well known that visualization is powerful…mind over matter…and if you believe you can…you will be able to let go of pain. But too, make sure to work on the issue that caused it and find resolution and completion so it does not continue to manifest within you as pain. (And, of course, seek medical attention where needed.)

It can be done. Keep reminding yourself you are a whole, healthy, balanced soul until you believe it again. Our bodies believe what we tell them. What would you decide that to be?


Thoughts For The Day

Sunday H 1

“Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.”  ~ Francesca Reigler

MarDrags’ Thoughts: Would that we could remember to pour our energy into the attitude of happiness and understanding rather than allow it to run in the river of misery. Either action takes energy and work. We of free will have the choice where to funnel our energy. We can choose where we would spend that effort…knowing that the hard work we put into it will reap what it is spent on. The choice…is what matters most. The rest…takes care of itself.

Sunday S 1

“To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.”  ~ Confucius

MarDrags’ Thoughts: We have all been “wronged” at some time by people in our lives…and it can cause us pain or sadness. But, if we stop to think a moment…does it not say more about the person who wronged us than it does about us? The person doing the wrong is the one that should question themselves…not the one who is wronged…for it is the one who is doing that is perpetrating the offence. If we continue to think about it and remember it…we give it power. Once forgotten…it is gone and can no longer have any power over us or affect us. Let. It. Go.

Sunday B 1

“As you walk, eat, and travel, be where you are. Otherwise, you will miss most of your life.”  ~ Buddha

MarDrags’ Thoughts: BE PRESENT. Be present for every moment of your life. We spend so much time in anguish or longing for the past or in anxiety or fear of the future…and thus we miss the gifts or lessons in the moment. So as Buddha says…be where you are. Right now…look around you…see where you are for all that it is…the colors, the smells, the feelings you have this minute…NOTICE it all…and revel in it. If it is happiness, joy, pain or anguish…BE present for it. Don’t miss a single drop of the elixir that is your life…drink it in and let it flow through you and fill you up. Get drunk on the magic of this very moment. THAT…is how not to feel empty.