The Sigh of Acceptance

 

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Acceptance…is such a big word. I have recently had an epiphany about some things I needed to accept in my life. These are things I have wanted to change and some that I did not believe needed change…and so I set about trying to maneuver them to be what I thought and believed they needed to be.

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This, I think is hard to do…or at least difficult to discern when to do. Because we get messages that say don’t settle, or we can make anything happen, or we have the power to change anything we want to. And yet…there are those situations that, try as we might, they don’t or won’t change. So…where do we go from there?

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Though it is almost always, certainly from the outset, the more difficult path…Acceptance really is the answer for those situations. I found myself spending gargantuan amounts of energy to try to make the universe see it “my way”…when in the end the transformation came in letting go and accepting, because then I could move into action, whatever that might be. Hanging on only keeps us riveted to the same place.

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I fiercely tried to hide from the reality I could not control these things. I hoped and believed in my hiding place…it was furnished with all the reasons why I believed the way I did. I cluttered my life…and others…with those reasons and sometimes railed at the heavens that the higher powers did not “see” what I meant. I suffered in my lament of not being understood or heard. But how could anyone really hear me…when I was hiding?

Ultimately…there is no where to hide…because we are the stars of our lives. We play the lead in the story of our own lives. So like the movies we watch flow across a screen…accepting each scene as a part of the story that helps us understand the entire picture and its message…so are these experiences in our lives. To Accept as part of our story.

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WHAT WE ACCEPT, WE CONQUER. WHAT WE RESIST BECOMES THE WALL THAT KEEPS US FROM ALL THAT WE NEED AND DESIRE.

This has been, to be real, hard. But there is relief also. Relief that I no longer have to pretend that those issues I had to Accept where anything other than what they really were. And I don’t have to pretend anymore that these things were “alright”. I Accept that they weren’t, and when I did, the pressure broke…like opening a pressure cooker…and all the steam let out. Relief.

It is what it is…as I am who I am.

Blessings and Love to you all!

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Acceptance and Stepping Outside The Cloud

 

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ~ Lao Tzu

“For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain.” ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“You couldn’t relive your life, skipping the awful parts, without losing what made it worthwhile. You had to accept it as a whole–like the world, or the person you loved.” ~ Stewart O’Nan

“I am my own biggest critic. Before anyone else has criticized me, I have already criticized myself. But for the rest of my life, I am going to be with me and I don’t want to spend my life with someone who is always critical. So I am going to stop being my own critic. It’s high time that I accept all the great things about me.” ~ C. JoyBell C.

“The best way is not to fight it, just go. Don’t be trying all the time to fix things. What you run from only stays with you longer. When you fight something, you only make it stronger.” ~ Chuck Palahnuik

“Maturity, one discovers, has everything to do with the acceptance of “not knowing.” ~ Mark Z. Danielewski

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from The Desk of MarDrag:

Acceptance is often a word and concept that is misunderstood. I wanted to write a bit about it today, because I have an analogy that I think might be helpful. Many of my clients, family, and friends have been talking about Acceptance lately, and the difficulty of…Accepting Acceptance.

 
So, let’s begin with the standard definition of Acceptance, which, by dictionary standard is:
• The act of assenting or believing; the act of accepting something or someone
• The quality or state of being accepted
• Belief in something; agreement

We are all familiar with these definitions…and can see why they would be hard to “Accept’ sometimes when things are going on in our lives that we do not want to happen or we do not agree with. So, we think that if we Reject them…that is, that we do not Accept them…we are doing something good for ourselves and trying to change things. In part…this is true.

BUT…there is another layer to Acceptance. Because there are some things in life we cannot change…or are not meant to change. Some things, we are meant to experience, exactly as they present themselves to us, because there is a higher purpose to it or a life lesson we need to learn to move forward. In addition…sometimes there are things in life that “just happen”, and if we spend all of our precious time and energy fighting them, well, then we have no energy left for solving them.

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So here is the thing…Acceptance is not just “rolling over and accepting” all that happens to us. It is Discerning when we can change something and when we can’t, and choosing our attitude about how we deal with it.

The difference is…that we Accept that the circumstance is happening. In the moment…we agree that, yes, this thing is happening. We may not want it to, we may have fear and angst about it…and certainly, if there is something we can do about it and it is appropriate to, we should. But, if it is a circumstance that we cannot stop…then we need to Accept the Circumstance and its existence, because it is only then that a clear path to a solution can be forged. The more we fight or deny something, the bigger it must become because it is trying to get our attention.

You see…and here is the analogy…when we choose to Resist a circumstance, or fight it, or succumb to fear and/or defeat…we throw up a cloud of distraction around us. We enter a cloud of mist and swirl it around us in an effort to deflect or protect…thinking that if we push it away it will go away, or we won’t have to face it, or it will magically resolve itself. But the only thing we succeed in doing…is fool ourselves.

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Because…as we are standing within that cloud and mist of distraction…outside the cloud, in the cool, crisp, clear air…still sits the circumstance that is waiting to be solved. It does not go anywhere. And we have wasted valuable time, effort, and energy on creating this cloud to hide behind.

Now, sometimes there is benefit to the cloud and good things come from waiting…but for the most part, “the cloud” is merely a diversion tactic we have set up…and eventually, we have to blow the cloud away and step outside it so we can see a clear picture of the circumstance in order to resolve or solve it.

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If we can look at the “true” meaning of Acceptance and Accept the circumstances that we face…this is the first step in changing our lives and having the clarity we need to see our paths for what they truly are. Acceptance is not defeat or acquiescence…it is the strong, smart, brave act of the Spiritual Warrior who knows that, in order to win the battle, one must face the adversary straight on and have faith and trust in the Self and that they will prevail.

Accept your Strength, Wisdom, and Courage…and the rest shall follow.

Blessings!

Monday Message ~ Grace

 

This weeks  “Monday Message” comes to us from the animal kingdom. I took to my “Medicine Cards ~ The Discovery of Power Through The Ways of Animals” by Jamie Sams and David Carson…and this is the message that was sent to us:

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Swan: “Grace”

Message (paraphrased): “Little Swan flew through Dreamtime, looking for the future. As Swan looked high above Sacred Mountain, she saw the biggest swirling black hole she had ever seen. Dragonfly flew by and Swan stopped him to ask about the black hole. Dragonfly said, “Swan, that is the doorway to other planes of imagination. I have been guardian of the illusion for many moons. If you want to enter there, you would have to earn the right.”

Swan was not so sure she wanted to enter the black hole. She asked Dragonfly what was necessary for her to earn entry. Dragonfly replied, “You must be willing to accept whatever the future holds as it is presented.” Swan looked at her little ugly duckling body and answered, “I won’t fight the currents of the black hole. I will surrender to the flow and trust what I am shown.” Dragonfly was happy with Swan’s answer and began to spin the magic to break the illusion.

Swan reappeared many days later, but now she was graceful, white, and long-necked. Dragonfly was stunned! Swan smiled and said, “I learned to surrender to the power of the Universe and Great Spirit and was taken to where the future lives. Because of my faith and my acceptance, I have been changed. I have learned to accept the state of Grace.”

So it is that we learn to surrender to the Grace of the rhythm of the Universe, and slip into Dreamtime. Swan medicine teaches us to be at one with all planes of consciousness, and to trust in the Universe and Great Spirit’s protection.

Swan ushers in a time of altered states of awareness and of development of your intuitive abilities. And a time of accepting the healing and transformation of your life.

The Swan card is telling you to accept your ability to know what lies ahead. If you are resisting your self-transformation, Relax…it will be easier if you go with the flow. Pay attention to your hunches and your gut knowledge, and honor your female intuitive side.”

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from The Desk of MarDrag:

Well, yesterday’s inspiration post was about Acceptance…and here today we have another message about it…and the state of Grace acquired through that Acceptance.

We all face certain “Black Holes” in our lives. Things can happen and the future can “look” uncertain. We can be facing a huge void that frightens us because we do not know what will be presented there. And we resist entering it.

The thing is…is that, within that void can be wonderful things to fill our life up with. In there can be the very things we are looking for, pursuing, or don’t even know we want yet. And we will never find out unless we Relax….go with the flow…and enter the future trusting what we will be shown. We must go into the quiet and discern the rhythm of the Universe…as well as the unique rhythm of our own life…and surrender to it, to the flow. This does not mean we allow “anything” to happen to us…but that we focus on our Intuition to tell us what is right or not right for us.

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We all have Intuition. Accept, with Grace, the wisdom of that voice. Accept, with Grace, where your Intuition leads you. And, Accept that you have more wisdom and knowledge about what lies ahead than you think…Trust what that knowledge tells you. Honor your Intuition, your gut instinct, and your female intuitive side.

Be as the Swan and enter the black holes with Grace and Acceptance…go with the flow…and you will come out of it with more Wisdom and Beauty than you ever thought you had.

Blessings!

Weekend Inspiration ~ Acceptance

 

Acceptance is often a difficult concept. We can be confused by its messages as well. Do we accept things as they are or try to change them? If we accept them, will they bring us down? If we do not accept them, will they crash in on us anyway?

I believe that Acceptance of all things is the key to Happiness. As some of these quotes below allude to…the first step in change or growth…is to Accept how it is to begin with. From that Acceptance comes Clarity. And from that Clarity comes Understanding. And from Understanding comes better Choices.

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Acceptance does not indicate weakness. It does not mean we are giving up on anything. It simply means we are Strong enough to see things for what they truly are so that we can be better informed and clearly present. When we can Accept things as they are in the moment…then we can make better decisions about how to move forward.

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It is at the moment of complete Acceptance that Change can occur.

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Acceptance takes us past denial and allows us to be more deeply in touch with our lives and what is really happening. Which leads us to a deeper wisdom…and always leads to better choices.

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The greatest Acceptance is Self-Acceptance…for when we Accept ourselves for who we are at this very moment…then we know Unconditional Love…and we can give it to ourselves and share it with others.

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And from this springs the Happiness, Peace, and Harmony we are searching for.

Blessings!

Rune For A Monday

 

Welcome to Monday Morning! It was a rough weekend…so I take to my Runes and “The Book of Runes” by Ralph Blum to see what message and pearl of wisdom they have for us to begin our week. The Rune that came to my hand is:

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Berkana: Growth, Rebirth, A Birch Tree

Message (paraphrased): “The Rune of life process, Berkana denotes that form of fertility which promotes growth both symbolically and actually. The growth may occur in family matters, one’s relationship to one’s self, or the relationship with the Divine. This is a “leading to” Rune, in that it leads to blossoming and ripening.

What is called for here is going into things deeply, with care and awareness. In this action, be gentle, penetrating, and pervasive.

First, disperse resistance, then accomplish the work. For this to happen, your will must be clear and controlled. In regard to the issue, your motives must be correct. Any dark corners should be cleansed; this must be carried out diligently and sometimes with expert help. Modesty, patience, fairness and generosity are called for here. Once resistance is dispersed and rectification carried out and seen to hold firm, then, through steadfastness and right attitude, the blossoming can occur.”

from The Desk of MarDrag:

Well, not surprisingly, this is not the easiest of Runes. But its message is timely and profound. It tells us that, the good news in all that is happening is that growth is present and moving. That is a good thing to know and to hold on to as we move through this tense time. It also assures us that the hard work we are doing is going to “lead us” to a blossoming and ripening from that growth. It helps to know that! Just as the mighty oak begins as a seed, so do our greatest accomplishments.  The growth can, at times, be painful and stressful, but there is that promise of blossoming at the end of it.

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So…while we must go deeper still into the issues and the understanding of them, it is important to remember to be gentle with ourselves. Though we must penetrate the depths to have the level of growth we are looking for, we should not be hard on ourselves or stand in judgment of what we are going through. We must be accepting and compassionate with ourselves, for we are working hard and deserve a soft cushion to fall on.

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The last message this Rune has is difficult, yet paramount to growth. We must let go of resistance to the issue and the growth it promotes. Resistance builds a wall that makes it harder to get through. And we do not need anything to make our path more difficult than it is. Resistance can be hard to let go of…but it is necessary. We should look to any dark corners and cleanse them. Examine our motives for doing this work in the first place and make sure they are honest and clear…within ourselves.

And then…stay with it. Persevere, hold firm, and get through it. We must try to keep a positive attitude in that we take this as an opportunity to move past the issue, grow, and blossom. We should not give up. Just when it feels the hardest and that we would give up…that is when we should persevere and push through. It is at that moment that the breakthrough occurs. And it is through that steadfastness…when we realize just how Powerful we really are…that the blossoming happens…and we see what a Magnificent being we really are. We are that blossom on the vine that conquered the depths of the earth beneath us, shot through the surface, raised our bud toward the sun, flourished…and grew into a lovely, fragrant flower.

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Blessings!

For Love Of Self

 

(I wrote this piece about a year ago, but after this difficult week, it seemed important to post again. I hope that it speaks to you and gives you good cause to pause, and consider yourself and the love that is within…for You!) Blessings!

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“When you’re different, sometimes you don’t see the multitude of people who accept you for what you are. All you notice is the person who doesn’t.”  ~ Jodi Picoult

“Life is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn’t have the time to sit around and talk about you. What’s important to me is not others’ opinions of me, what’s important to me is my opinion of myself.” ~ C. Joy Bell C.

“To the people who love you, you are beautiful already. This is not because they’re blind to your shortcomings but because they so clearly see your soul. Your shortcomings then dim by comparison. The people who care about you are willing to let you be imperfect and beautiful, too.”  ~ Victoria Moran

“How would your life be different if…You stopped allowing other people to dilute or poison your day with their words or opinions? Let today be the day you stand strong in the truth of your beauty and journey through your day without attachment to the validation of others.”  ~ Steve Maraboli

“The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.” ~ Steve Maraboli

“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.” ~ Carl Jung

“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.”  ~ Brene Brown

“Always remember, You are loved, You carry the love, You spread the love, You radiate the love, And the love is returned to you.”  ~ Karen Hackel

“Lighten up on yourself. No one is perfect. Gently accept your humanness.”  ~ Deborah Day

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from the Desk of MarDrag:

Loving oneself, oddly enough, is one of the hardest, yet most courageous things we will ever do. Ask anyone, and they will give you a long list of things or reasons why they are imperfect and not deserving of self-love. They may accept that someone else may love them, but when it comes to accepting ourselves for who we are, exactly as we are, in this moment and loving that, we are loathe to do so, and reject the concept.

We are enamored with the idea that our self-worth, our self-love, is dictated by those around us and what they think of us. Are we worthy enough? Are we smart enough? Are we successful enough? Are we pretty enough? Are we charming enough? Are we dedicated enough? Are we giving enough? Are we strong enough? In these questions…what is the common denominator, the common thread/word? ENOUGH! Are we enough of anything to be loved, accepted and even more so, respected and held in high esteem? We compare ourselves to others and think, no, I am not as good, so therefore, I do not deserve to love myself…until I can become *insert word here*, and then I might be good enough to deserve that self-love. And what if, no matter how hard we try, we never “become” that “thing” we dangle in front of us that measures our worth. Will we withhold love of ourselves forever then?

The thing is…we are not nor will we be “enough” to be loved and held in high esteem unless we…without judgment, without question, and without fear…love and accept ourselves completely for who we are at this very moment in our lives…faults and foibles and all. We will never be that perfect vision we have of ourselves because we are human and no one human is perfect. And THAT…is what makes us lovable.

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Today…embrace all those reasons why you hold self-love at arms length, and wrap them in love. The best way to overcome anything is to love it, not push it away or withhold acceptance until it fits your picture of what it should be. And that includes ourselves. We do not withhold our love from those people or situations in our lives that need us until they are perfect do we? No, we love them in spite of all the imperfections and frustrations. Now, we need to do that for ourselves.

Be brave…and love yourself no matter what….and watch yourself blossom in the light rays of Self-Love like a flower blossoms in the light of the sun. Be your own sun, and illuminate the beauty of you and bask in the warmth of your love for yourself.

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Blessings!

On Self-Acceptance

 

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid.” ~ Albert Einstein

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from The Desk of MarDrag:

~ We should not judge ourselves for what we can not do, or what we are not, or what our limitations are…but embrace ourselves for all that we CAN do, and exactly what and who we are. Focusing on what we do not know makes us feel stupid…and takes away the courage to learn. We end up feeling inadequate, when there are so many things we DO know.  Acknowledge that you do not know everything…but that you are a genius at what you do know!

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~ Take a moment to reflect on your self and all the qualities that make you who you are. And accept them. If there are things you want to change, then set about changing them. But the essence of who you are is your life blood. Learn to be comfortable with your essence, accepting your limitations while honoring your strengths. Put your attention on those strengths and they will grow. Just as putting attention on your weaknesses will make them grow. When you feel your mind stray to the chatter that keeps negative energy alive, consciously switch your mind to focus on one of your strengths and remind yourself of your genius in that strength. Remember, no one does it like you do! Celebrate all that you are. Be grateful for what you are blessed with in life, focus on what does work, and build on that.

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~ And then take that moment, and accept who you are, right then and there, and if just for that moment, be good enough, know that you are the greatest you, and that you are growing all the while. Be grateful for all that you have, and for the challenges that make you more than who you thought you could be. 

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“You are very powerful, provided you know how powerful you are.” ~ Yogi Bhajan

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Blessings!

Tuesday Affirmations ~ Being Unique

 

It is that time again…time for “Tuesday Affirmations”. The cards practically jumped into my hands today, so ready were they with a message for us. The card that came forward (from the deck “The Gift of Affirmations by Amy Zerner and Monte Farber) is:

The Gift of The New:   “I Love and Accept Myself As A Unique Individual”

The Message:   “Use this gift when it seems that you are not being accepted for any reason, but especially if it is because you are different from other people or you want to be different. You do not need the acceptance of ignorant or intolerant people. You cannot change anyone else. What you need is to love and accept yourself for being a good person.”

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from the Desk of MarDrag:

Being accepted. From the time we go on our first “play date”, we experience the feeling of wanting to be accepted by others. Then pre-school and fights over Play-Doh invade our lives…and the push is on. The questions that will play in our minds for the rest of our lives begin. “Will they like me”…”Why don’t they like me?…Why do they like them and not me?”…”What do I have to do/be to be liked?”…and a myriad of other questions and thoughts that plague us. Because, all we really want…is to be accepted…as we are and for who we are.

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As we grow up, we learn the hard lesson that not everyone accepts and likes everyone. There will be some who…for whatever reason…just do not like or accept us. It is easy to allow that opinion to impact us and leave us wondering why…am I not good enough…am I different…and what do I need to change so I am accepted “just like everyone else”.

The things is…”accepted just like everyone else”…is a thought that is really only in our minds. Because everyone experiences these same emotions of feeling unaccepted. Even the most popular and well-liked people have their insecurities. It just doesn’t “look” like it from where we stand because we are captured in a cloud of our own dissatisfaction with ourselves. We tend to think the hardest about ourselves…and that, surely, everyone else feels ok. And that makes us feel “different”. Which becomes another reason not to be accepted. A vicious circle.

But what I find, and believe…is that virtually everyone feels this way most of or at some time in their lives. So…we are all really not that different. With respect to our emotions that is! Yet we are each Unique in our individuality, so special that there is no one other person who is just like us…and that is what makes the world such an interesting place. Would we want it any other way?

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Yes, there are those that criticize and chastise and ridicule…but this (I believe) is because their own insecurities are so great that they must put others down in order to raise themselves. Most of the time, however, that “raise” is just in their minds as well.

So…if we are all Unique…yet experience the same emotions…what matter is it if we are not accepted by someone else? The only person that should matter…is US. The most important person in our lives to accept and love us…is US. If we fall in love with ourselves, and accept ourselves for the whole of who we are…who could possibly resist doing the same? We would give off that energy…and it is catching!

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Love and Acceptance starts within. When we Love and Accept ourselves…then we are far more likely to Love and Accept others. It is a chain reaction.

You are Unique and Wonderful and Brilliant and Lovable…just being You! Love and Accept your Amazing Self…and the world will follow your lead! And if they don’t…it won’t matter! The people in your life who Love and Accept you as your Unique self are who matter…not the ones that don’t.

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Blessings!