The Music of Childhood

 

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I mean this literally. I frequently watch PBS because they show some wonderful concerts of all genres of music, some quite retro or obscure. I love it as I have a brief background managing rock bands and I listen(ed) to a whole lotta different types of artists and music. It was a blast and is now part of my matured (giggle) playlist of current tunes.

The other day, PBS presented a 2hour special about a band that was dear and close to my heart growing up in the late sixties and seventies. This band and their music, in fact, shaped much of my adolescence and teens. I evolved into a rock and roll girl…but during that period I was all about…The Carpenters. I know, I know…but they had some amazing songs and the musical arrangements Richard Carpenter put together were astounding in their complexity and perfection. Karen Carpenter had the voice of an angel. She was my first girl crush. I wanted and got a drum set because I thought it was so cool that a girl could play. While I loved all of their “hits”, I took to some of their lesser known material and would play the songs over and over…my brother banging on the wall of the next room yelling, “How many more times are you going to play that?” Giggle…oh plenty Bro!

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Hearing these songs again (I have not heard them for many, many, many…years) washed over me like a gentle but large tidal wave. I hardly expected it. I sat down to watch just for fun and nostalgia’s sake…but I came away moved…and dare I say, changed just a little. It is interesting to note (pun unintended but stays) how much music does affect, influence, and shape our lives. We all hear certain tunes that sway us to recall the times in our lives that these melodies flowed through. So listening to these songs, all at once and together, really formed a vessel to ride that tidal wave of memories…but not only memories…because music evokes emotions, so when the memories come, so do the emotions attached to them. I remembered it all, some good, some not, but it was all Me.

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It was moving, but not in a bad way. I just…well, transcended for 2 hours to that time in my life, which I intentionally do not think about every day. I mean, adolescence and teens are some of the most profound years and we all have wonderful and horrid memories of them. But…because this music was so important to me back then, I began to remember parts of me, pieces of things, blips I hadn’t had on my radar…and in an odd way, it filled up a part of me I (now for the cliché) didn’t exactly know wasn’t entirely filled. Like small pieces of the puzzle inched toward the bigger picture and went, oh, that’s where I fit in.

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These days afterward I feel altered just a bit, but for a better fit into my whole self. Does that make sense? (she asks shaking her head!).

If you haven’t or never do listen to Music of Your Childhood…I strongly recommend it. Not a song here or there, sit down for an afternoon and “pull out all the old tunes”. (whatever that means in this digital age).  Just sit and relax into the music, let your mind wander and your heart and soul follow. Are there some things there, some feelings, some things that you lost along the way? Would it make you feel better to let them back in again? Would it open any doors that might have been closed? Is there magic in those tunes, words, and melodies that belongs back in your Self?

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I can tell you, that is how I felt, and it was good. Have fun with it…and may the Music of Childhood bring you closer to YourSelf and make you fall in Love all over again…with You!

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Blessings!

A Poem ~ Repost

 

I guess it’s Nostalgia week…because so many voices, words, and thoughts have come up this week from the past. Not a bad thing, as it all has a reason and always helps the trajectory forward…if we use it for movement and not to stay stuck. Anyway, I came across this poem I posted a few years ago, and it kind of struck me. Ouch! It asked for another airing so, what is a poet to do? I hope you enjoy. Blessings!

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SEARCHING

I take to the streets of my soul

Laboring over cobblestones of the past

Ducking in doorways

Listening for sounds

Or footsteps

Looking for the flicker of a light

Searching for the key

That will open that which is closed in me

(by MarDrag)

Where’s “Mike”?

 

I took a day to relax yesterday and marathon one of my favorite new shows, “Grace & Frankie”. It is a Netflix series…and if you haven’t seen it yet…it is a “Must-See”. You can Google it if you don’t know it so I won’t go into detail here…but it is a very funny, very poignant and touching show about two couples of advanced age and the changes in their lives. It stars one of my favorite all time comedians…Lilly Tomlin…who delivers a magical and hilarious performance.

In one of my favorite scenes, LT has just purchased a new laptop, which she knows nothing about, including the internet, etc., so she gets a “help” phone number and calls for assistance in setting it all up.

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Now, we all know what this entails. And…when was the last time we just “called” a help tech and actually got help. But I love this scene. LT gets a verrry nice computer tech on the line named “Mike”, with a gorgeous low, sultry voice, who soothes her right away by telling her to relax, he is there to help her, and not to worry, he will talk her through everything. Cut to the next scene and they are chatting about her ex-husband, kids, and she is about to send out her first tweet from her new laptop with “Mike” shouting hurrahs on the other end of the phone. I love how this “wishful thinking” writing of this scene lulls us into an, awww isn’t that nice reaction…but…

Now tell me…when have any of us ever gotten a tech like “Mike” on the phone?

I picture him to look like this…

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When they all really look like this…

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What we want is this…

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But what we get is this…

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Ultimately…all we really want…is this…

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So…can someone tell me…where’s “Mike”?? Anyone? Buehler??

Blessings!

A Moments Recall

 

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I remember the day clearly, precisely. I remember the heat of the day, and trying to manage to stay cool. I recall getting out of my car and stepping up to the sidewalk that I would follow as it led me into the building before me. I registered the sidewalk to be newer, cleaner as I paced toward the front door. I also remember my shoes as I looked down at the pavement. Good shoes, I thought…excellent. I looked up as I approached the door then, and noticed two other young ladies just coming out of this door…young, dressed up, seemingly carefree young ladies. Their hair done in the perfect “undone” fashion, their clothes in the latest style…and the shoes…good shoes too. Crap!

These young ladies had exited from the door that I was about to enter, the door that led to another door where behind it, I would interview for a job, a job that those nubile young ladies had no doubt just interviewed for too.

And I felt the shift. I felt the hot air ripple and move. I felt it jar my world.

I will forever remember the heat from the sidewalk, and the slow motion that took over my legs as I walked, opened the door, and forced myself inside.

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You see, by that point, I was no longer a “young lady”. I was still in good shape, but I was no longer a young women on the job market. I was an older woman on the job market, and I was unaware yet that day what a difference that would make. That is why the details are so vibrant in my memory. We imprint those moments that we somehow know our lives will never be the same after…and this was one of them. This was about 12 years ago, after another surgery that kept me out of work (and a long career) for a year…a year that changed everything. The world had changed (many major things had erupted), I had changed, and how I had counted on things to work, how I had maneuvered my life and the way I did things was going to irrevocably change. In that instant I knew it and I had to accept that then. It was not easy to be sure. Reinvention ensued.

That moment comes to mind now as I talk here about Acceptance and Trust as…all these years later…I am faced with moving to another level of life. Perhaps I am recalling this today because I am feeling old today and my senses are looking for something to relate to that will remind me that this is one moment…like all the others…that will pass into something else yet imprint within me and add to the color of my character and self.

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After these two years of illness and recovery, I emerge changed again, as the world is changed again too. And isn’t this what life is all about. We never reach one level and stay there, unless of course we want to. But life is a series of circumstances, action, result, then movement. I’m still doing it. Yeah!

Today…I just feel a little slower at it.

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TAKE YOUR TIME IF YOU NEED TO, BE OK WITH WHO YOU ARE TODAY, AND LOVE YOURSELF WITHOUT CONDITIONS. YOU DESERVE THIS!

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Blessings!