I was looking through some very old blog posts from years ago today, just reading and recalling what was happening in my life when I wrote some of them. And it really cemented how much of a cycle life is. Many of the blogs I wrote years ago relate to today. So I am reposting one of them that spoke out and resonated…as I hope it will do for you.
“There is some kind of a sweet innocence in being human- in not having to be just happy or just sad- in the nature of being able to be both broken and whole, at the same time.” ~ C. JoyBell C.
from the Desk of MarDrag:
Life is not ok sometimes. And for some, life seems not ok most of the time. As this Great Tapestry of life gets woven, with all our individual tapestries being woven at the same time….the thrust of the ever present needle can be felt harshly. As that needle, bearing its string of thread, plucks through the hole of the canvas and pulls the strand through, we feel it, and it can yank at our comfort, peace and balance. Behind us, the threads are fit snuggly into their place in the picture, for better or worse, but before us is a blank canvas, and the anticipation of our thread being pulled through another point in the tapestry can also cause us anxiety, angst and fear.
When things are not working right in our life, or as we think they should, we feel the strain of every inch of our threads scraping through the fabric, creating tension and resistance. In our minds eye, we see our weaves, our tapestries completed in a certain way, with a certain picture we either want to see, or think we should see. That, though, is rarely how they turn out. And we feel that is not OK.
The trouble is, we cannot always see or know how things are really supposed to look or turn out. We are so busy watching the threads being pulled, or trying to direct where they should go, that we miss viewing the bigger picture. And also, we can’t always see that bigger picture, because we are meant to experience every turn, every pull in the thread that takes us there. Life is a journey, not a destination, and we never know completely and with final assuredness where we are meant to go next, or why, or how. Sometimes that ends up being a lovely surprise.
And that is why, as hard as it may seem, we have to try to Be OK with the what, when, where, how and why…because all of those lead us somewhere, and most of the time, the best places we are led to are the most unexpected ones. And, just when we think we cannot go on another minute the way things are…another minute goes by, and we make it through. And we are…OK.
There have been many times in my life when I said, I can’t stand another minute of this, and then another minute passed and I still moved forward. I had to dig ever deeper for the strength to pass that minute, but I did…and we do, because that is what is needed of us. We must surrender those minutes, over and over, peeling back the layers of “Not OK”, until what is meant to happen reaches us, and then a new journey begins.
If you are going through a difficult moment, and wondering where your thread is being woven and when you will get to where you are going, keep telling yourself it is OK to be where you are at, and each time you surrender to that, you peel another layer back that reveals your true self, stripped of all the “I think I should be doing this” threads, and the true place you are meant to be will be revealed to you and you will “get the picture”. When we resist where we are at, the tension pulls at our thread, so it cannot be placed where it is meant to be woven. If we can relax that thread and be OK with its placement, we will discover there may be a piece of the picture we would not have seen otherwise.
When we can make it ok that some things are not ok, then we can find some balance and perspective. You have to say its OK, feel its Ok, in order to BE OK.