“Forgiveness of Self is impossible until you stop longing for a better past.” ~Author Unknown
“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.” ~Marilyn Monroe
“No amount of self-improvement can make up for any lack of self-acceptance.” ~Robert Holden
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” ~Siddhartha
“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.” ~Dalai Lama
“We are all full of weakness and errors, let us mutually pardon each other our follies” ~Voltaire
from the Desk of MarDrag:
We are Human…in beauty, grace, love, and light…but we are flawed too. We are taught to aspire to be the best human being we can be…but sometimes we fail at that. Because, gasp, we are human. What a conundrum!
We are all our own unique tapestry, events in our lives weaving the pattern that makes us who we are. Sometimes the thread gets caught in the needle, sometimes it snaps, breaks away from the weave and has to be repaired and blended back into the overall picture of the tapestry again. Where it is mended, sometimes we can see the flaw…but each and every thread, each snap, each patch or repair, each flaw…is exactly what makes that tapestry unique, special, unlike any other tapestry. Without them, we would be factory manufactured wall hangings.
As humans, sometimes we make mistakes or missteps. They can be hurtful…to ourselves and to others. And we can regret them miserably and feel like we can never forgive ourselves for them. We feel that we should have known better. But, knowing better comes from making mistakes and learning from them. If we had “known better” then we would not have made the mistake. But, how can we know better without making the mistake first? Another conundrum.
When we can’t forgive ourselves for past mistakes or missteps, we can turn our insides into knots of despair over things that have long passed. Most of the time, we are the only ones thinking about it. Everyone else has moved on. But because we aspire to be a better person, we look back and cringe and think, no, I am no better than that mistake. And that is not true. If we look at our mistakes and learn from them, those errors in judgment are no longer a part of us. The cycle gets completion. Mistake – lesson learned – forgive yourself – let it go. Personal growth occurs, and we evolve into that better person we wanted to be. And that mistake, then, is no longer a part of us now…but a part of the person we used to be. Let it go.
Hanging on to past mistakes by not forgiving ourselves clogs the energy paths through which new and good things come to us. It can only still affect us if we keep dragging the past into the present. Clear the path – let the past go back to where it belongs – in the past. Even if it was just yesterday.
A question to ask ourselves is…”If this is still part of my life, and if it still affects me, why is it still important to hold on to, do I still need to learn a lesson?” If the answer is yes, then set about working on it. Just taking action within yourself will make you feel better. But if the answer is no, and you are just obsessing over something you can no longer change, then Let. It. Go. It harms no one but yourself…and you can’t move forward with a sack of regret and self-loathing hanging on your back.
That is not what God, or the Higher Powers, or the Divine want for us. We humans made this up. And it is not in the Divine Plan. The Divine Plan is for us to be happy, healthy and empowered. Why do we argue with that plan so much?
So, we must forgive ourselves. And know that in the bigger picture, in the full scope of our tapestries, there are many gorgeous, wonderful threads that make up who we are, not just those mistakes and flaws. In the grand picture, those are just imperfections that make the tapestry unique. And when you step back and look at the full picture, they are a small part of its entire scope.
At any given moment, you have the power to say, this is not how the story ends.
A quick exercise ~ In the next 15 minutes, if you can do something about that thing that is bothering you, go do it. If there is nothing you can do, for the next 15 minutes…let it go, and do not worry about it. Just for 15 minutes, let yourself have peace. Take a deep breath and put it outside your boundary. And feel the relief and peace. Practice this as mush as possible and then extend 15 minutes to 30 minutes…then an hour, couple of hours, then a whole day. Sometimes we have to retrain our minds to step off a pattern we have been doing for a long time. With practice, it becomes the new pattern, and becomes a part of the person we want to be, which in honesty, is who we already are.