The Fate We Live


“Do not be afraid, our fate cannot be taken from us. It is a gift.”  ~ Dante Alighieri

“What’s meant to be will always find a way.”  ~ Trisha Yearwood

“There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be.”  ~ John Lennon

“You often meet you fate on the road you take to avoid it.”  ~ Goldie Hawn

“Some things are destined to be – it just takes us a couple of tries to get there.”  ~ J.R.Ward

“Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.”  ~ Marcus Aurelius

“Love your fate, which is, in fact, your life.” ~  Freidrich Neitzche

“There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction. I can decide how I spend my time, who I interact with, who I share my body and life and energy and money with. I can select what I can read and eat and study. I can choose how I’m going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life-whether I will see them as curses or opportunities. I can choose my words and tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts.”  ~ Elizabeth Gilbert

“I thought about one of my favorite Sufi poems, that says that God long ago drew a circle in the sand exactly around the spot where you are standing right now. I was never not coming here. This was never not going to happen.”  ~ Elizabeth Gilbert

from The Desk of MarDrag:

Some thirty years ago, as self-help groups and organizations began to become all the rage, I attended my first one at the encouragement of my older sister who had begun working for a facilitator of a well-known group. She had told me she learned a great deal about herself, growth in personal empowerment, and how to make her life better. I was intrigued and attended the five-day seminar myself. It was the beginning of my studies that have led me to the work I do today.

It was an incredibly enlightening time and I did learn a great deal. The facilitator has since passed and the organization disbanded, but all these years later, lessons I learned there are still fresh in my mind. One of those lessons is what I write about today.

I recall sitting in the hotel conference room with about 25 other participants as we were introduced to some very different concepts about life. I had never heard things put quite the way the facilitator put them, and I was fascinated. Until he said this…”Look at the idea that your life has been perfect up to this moment.” Well, we all squirmed in our seats and looked at each other, uncomfortable with the fact that this man was totally wrong. We looked at him and said, “Errrm, uh, well, not so much. We would not be here now if our lives had been perfect. We would not need this seminar.” We were sure we had stumped the teacher or that he had misspoke. And then, he showed us why he was the teacher.

He told us that, every moment of our lives that we had lived, every decision we had made, every difficulty we had experienced, every joy and hardship we had encountered had been pivotal and necessary because it had brought us to that very moment of being at that seminar, seeking self-awareness and empowerment with a desire to change our lives. If any moment in our past had been different, we would not have been in the place we were in at that moment.

And it dawned on me then, as I still believe today, that this concept, though difficult at first to accept, is true. And it gives purpose to everything we go through in life…no moment or experience is wasted. It is all meant to be as it is and has been. The key is to make it all count, to become acutely aware of what each moment, each happening means and the impact it does have in our lives, and to make choices and decisions from that clarity. In that way, we can change our lives and make them what we want them to be, what our destinies mean them to be.

The word that describes this concept is Fate. The definition of Fate is this: “the development of events outside a persons control; the will or principle or determining cause by which things in general are believed to come to be as they are or events to happen as they do; a final result or consequence; an outcome; (ex: They thought they would never see each other again, but fate brought them back together; fate decided his course for him; his injury is a twist of fate). From the Oxford American Dictionary and Merriam Webster Dictionary.

We have all heard many sayings about how Fate affects our lives…”As Fate would have it” or “Fate stepped in and made it happen”, or any number of similar quotes. So, we know that there are forces at work that play into what happens in our lives. And while we have no control over those “Fateful” events, we do have absolute control over how we react to them and what we do about them, as well as our attitudes about them. We can see them in a negative and defeatist light, or we can see them as opportunities to grow and empower ourselves to change.

The thing is, we are where we are right now because it is where we are supposed to be…based on ALL of the moments of our lives up until now. As the quotes above say, we are nowhere we are not supposed to be. Circumstances will be what they are…but the difference is what attitude we choose when dealing with them. If the circumstances cannot be changed, then it is our attitude that must change if we are to have happiness or peace in our lives. And, if we are to change our lives.

Would you try to change your life from a cloud of negativity (which would bring more negative)? Or would you change your life from a positive or at least hopeful place, which would bring more positive resolutions. Or at the very least, give you a better life to wait in until those resolutions show themselves.

Fate may not be able to be changed, but how we deal with it always can be. Accept and love your life for what it is at this moment, because it is from there that change will come. Acceptance first and then a hopeful positive attitude will empower the shift. As Fate would have it.



3 comments on “The Fate We Live

  1. Thanks MarDrang.This one is timely.
    I had a fatefull moment thursday night – told my former bff to go eff herself that I was sick of her shit. I’ve been trying to put things aside and be there for her but couldn’t take it anymore.
    I’m almost back to Jax, mom still in hospital and not doing well. My brother said she was doing better yesterday though…..

    • Darling JustDee….I am so sorry you have had to deal with this in the midst of everything else on your plate. And I am sorry your BFF could not/would not be there for you! Sometimes, we do have to cut people loose when the relationship gets toxic. You need your people to be there for YOU right now….

      I am also sorry to hear your mom is back in the hospital and not doing well. Please know prayers are going out for her…and for you to have the strength to get through this.

      Also know, Sweet JustDee, that we on this blog are here for you!! We love you and honor you as the true Warrioress that you are…..and the wonderful, giving, selfless and funny woman you are.

      Hang in there doll! Sending Love & Light STAT! And Hugs!! 🙂

      Let us know if you need anything!

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