Wednesday ~ “Getting Over The Hump Day” Humor

 Happy Wednesday! This week’s humor blog is brought to you by our fine furry friend, the dog, who has some particular questions to ask God that you might not know they are thinking. Have Fun! Oh, and some pictures too! Blessings!   😀

Dear God,
Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever,
smell one another?

Dear God,
When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is
it the same old story?

Dear God,
Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar,
the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but
not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar
riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard
to rename the ‘Chrysler Eagle’ the ‘Chrysler Beagle’?

Dear God,
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human
hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God,
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand
signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent
ID’s, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight
paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God,
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake
hands to get in?

Dear God,
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have
to apologize?

Dear God,
Let me give you a list of just some of the things I
must remember to be a good dog:

– I will not eat the cats’ food before they eat it or
after they throw it up.

– I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.,
just because I like the way they smell.

– I will not munch on “leftovers” in the kitty litter
box; although they are tasty, they are not food.

– The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

– The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and
Dad’s laps.

– The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

– My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

– I will not bite the officer’s hand when he reaches
in for Mom’s driver’s license and registration.

– I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when
he’s on the toilet.

– Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is not an
acceptable way of saying ‘hello.’

– I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m
lying under the coffee table.

– I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
entering the house.

– I will not throw up in the car.

– I will not come in from outside and immediately drag
my butt across the carpet.

– I will not sit in the middle of the living room and
lick my crotch when company is over.

– The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with
him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.

Dear God,
May I have my testicles back?

Hey Cat

Past, Present, Future

Delightfully Difficult

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21 comments on “Wednesday ~ “Getting Over The Hump Day” Humor

  1. Dear God,
    If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human
    hears him, is he still a bad dog?

    This struck me so funny my kids heard me laughing. Thanks Mardrag 😛

      • I was hoping all the rest and drama free Long weekend would have helped. It did!!! But then I was back to work, so you know all the rest and calm went out the window 😛

        Okay, it has not been that bad…but man i am tested daily!

        I had a small victory today, that in my mind is HUGE and that is helping right now 🙂

    • Hi Boo! They are all pretty funny 😛

      My little “princess” goes up on the couch, so hopefully it is an option in heaven. In her Defence, she goes up only when i ask her up and or if there is a blanket on the couch 🙂

      • Ho Cali!
        That’s true – they are all funny! Lol!
        I bet there are tons of couches in heaven for all the dogs! Your dog sounds like a good girl – going on the couch only when invited?! That’s great! I don’t have a dog right now, but we have cats and they do whatever they want, whenever they want – there is no stopping them even when I try! Luckily they are very good.

      • Dang – Sorry I missed it. But I just read it now….I am so so so glad that your mom is feeling better!! I am so happy and relieved for you and your mom!! 6 hours is a lonnnggggg drive. Between the driving and emotions, you must get so tired! I feel for you. And now you are in the middle of the kitchen overhaul?! That is a big job! I give you lots of credit, JustDee. You are very strong.
        It’s great to see you.
        oxox

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