Making Our Truth


“The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.”  ~ Oscar Wilde

“If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.”  ~ Virginia Woolf

“The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you.”  ~ David Foster Wallace

*** “It is good to feel lost… because it proves you have a navigational sense of where “Home” is.  You know that a place that feels like being found exists.  And maybe your current location isn’t that place but, Hallelujah, that unsettled, uneasy feeling of lost-ness just brought you closer to it.”  ~ Erika Harris

“It is only when we silence the blaring sounds of our daily existence that we can finally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us, as it stands knocking on the doorsteps of our hearts.”  ~ K.T. Jong

“Man stands in his own shadow and wonders why it’s dark.” ~ Zen Proverb

“Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. ~ Anaïs Nin
”There are… things which a man is afraid to tell even to himself, and every decent man has a number of such things stored away in his mind.” ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky

*** “Knowing who you are is the best defense against who they think you are.”  ~ Dodinsky

from the Desk of MarDrag:

Truth….this is a heady word. We are faced with its interpretations every day in many ways. And there are, realistically, many different types of Truth. There is my truth, your truth, the collective truth, the middle ground truth, THE truth, and so on….and they all of them mean something significant to each individual. Just as those threads that are our lives weave and wind through the Great Tapestry, so too do the Truths that drive them and impact what direction they will lace and intertwine.

Most of us question ourselves, and others and situations, about the Truth all the time, wanting and needing its True version so that we can make the best choices and decisions that we can. And we wonder should we tell the Truth, when it comes to certain circumstances that might be better handled with a slightly wavy version of the Truth. And those exist.

I believe that there is no fast and concrete answer to some of these questions….and each thread has to weigh their moral fiber when answering them for themselves….but there are two specific cases where I believe the absolute Truth is important to be told. The first…is to oneself. No matter what actual actions we take or what words we share in reality, we must tell ourselves the Truth about what and why we do what we do and think what we think. As one of the quotes says above, if we cannot tell the truth to/about ourselves, we cannot tell it to/about others as well. And, if we tell ourselves the Truth in absolute, no matter how difficult or scary it is, it stands to reason that we ultimately will make the best choices from that Truth than we ever could have from untruths, immobility or denial.

The other instance in which the Truth is important to be told… in our inner Reactions to the negative things others say to us. Words hold great power, and we can be impacted by what others say to us. Good or bad, we will always have a Reaction. And, if we give over our power to those words….or give those words from others too much power over us, then we make what they say our own Truth, even if it is, ultimately, not our True Truth. It is anothers’ Truth that does not belong to us. So, we must give our reaction more power than the words that come from someone else, and be True to ourselves in that reaction, even if it is quietly within ourselves. Turn the Reaction into something positive. To make anothers’ words our Truth is to lose a bit and part of who we truly are, and that can chip away at us until we no longer know who we really are. And our thread in the tapestry can fray and leave us feeling as not a whole person.

So, no matter what situation you are in, what circumstances you must deal with, or what words you must, for whatever reason, listen to with your ears…do not listen to it with your Truth or make it your own, if it does not speak to your honest Truth that you feel about yourself. Be True to You and know in doing so, your thread will become stronger, tougher and more resilient and will be better able to find its True path through the weave of the Great Tapestry. And that always leads to a better place in the picture.

Truth always leads us in the right direction, if not the easiest one, it is the right one.



15 comments on “Making Our Truth

    • this speaks to me so much.

      i dont relate to the one about talking about others as much as about what i hear from others 🙂 when i talk about others is only when i am talking about myself and things done to me by others, therefore talking about them. i don’t care about other’s people personalities or backgrounds or actions, i live and let live. no judgement. why then do i judge myself so harshly? why then do i let what others say or think of me hurt me? why don’t i just be? i think i know my truth, but i may not. unless that truth in my mind is a bad one. at the same time, i do believe i am a good person. as i said, i don’t judge people, i also don’t hurt people. i mind my own business. i work for a living, i dont take advantage if anyone. i dont deceive or abuse anyone. i dont harm myself by putting my self i. dangerous situations or locations.

      i am going on and on here, but my point is that i think i know my truth. that should be enough. As you said, their truth does not belong to us. i have come a long way, yet, i still have a lot to improve. leave guilt behind, let other “stuff/noise” behind. i must left the past behind also, since the bottom line is that all i am is because of that past. old and new past.

      thanks mardrag for your blog and your daily reminders, and the posters who have been so nice also 🙂

      • You are welcome dear Cali! It is difficult to leave guilt behind, but it can be done. It is also not always easy to let go of the words we hear from others….but if we become aware of the difference between their truth and our own truth, that is the first step. And once you are aware, you move on from there. Keep at it, practice makes perfect! 😀

      • Oh Cali. First of all I want you to know that I have known you and followed you for quite a long time. I felt so intrigued by a woman who’s first language clearly was
        Spanish and made such an indomitable(big) effort to practice and learn her
        YOU, our lovely Cali, could be your own worst enemy. You judge yourself way to
        harshly and therefore keep yourself from growing. YOU have the language
        skills to take on further difficulties at work. You punish yourself with your lack of
        self esteem. You are SUCH A GEM, that not recognizing it is the problem!
        You need to REALIZE that you have so much potential and are selling your self short~

        I know that if you read DIVA’s description of the interview process she has been going
        thru, you would benefit from that!! I know you have a job, but seeing how
        Diva deals with the questions and most importantly——-
        Recognizes and points out how strong a candidate she is~

        Cali,,, First of all, you are bi-lingual. That is the one of the greatest
        assets you have. Can you translate? (I mean in a conversation between 2
        individuals) —–You could work for a sports team, the Government,
        ANY business that works in the multi-lingual world! You have the
        world by its balls, Cali- everyone needs/wants a translator. Lets say
        you don’t want to deal with “papers” you can still work in the language
        business, it could be with new immigrants, OR the movie Industry.

        all I know Cali, is that your Language capabilities have quadrupled since
        you first came to Lynn’s site(she would be so proud, I think she was very
        fond of you) and you should be so proud of how your verbal skills have
        improved over the few short months that you have been involved with
        the blogs.
        You are smart, You are Talented, and you are very efficient at dealing
        with different situations(you really helped me yesterday) so after all
        my blabbing, I just want to say to you, Cali- Trust yourself. You are much
        smarter than you think!

      • aaww NJBev, THANK YOU!!

        it improves, my attitude and self esteem. then i start second guessing myself based on what i hear. “how long have you been in this country?” when i struggle to say a word or i cant think of an answer about whatever. my problem is not only that i am foreign, i also have no retention on some things. i don’t know why or what is about. i can be good and fast and can remember things others cant, or in other areas. but i guess not on areas that “matter” in the environment i live in or industry i work at. i may be in the wrong one. . . but i do think i am getting more confidence as i go on because i can also speak up and say that for the job i am doing i dont need to know the date a president got shot or how to figure how stock options work, or to buy $M worth of servers but stay under a budget, not know the lyrics to any of PinkFlow songs. So, basically the job i have to do and i get paid for and no one else has to deal with, i do it right. i focus my attention and use my talents on doing a good job. if i didn’t get the education i wish i had, its too late now for the immediate solutions. if i want to learn something i get a book about it or go o google for short and quick answers even if i forget them right away :-P. i habe taken night school and will take a fee classes again. i do need to project better any ways though, because i know i stop progress or slow it down for not believing more in me. in the work place and in life. this affects me even to make new friends. i get nervous around new people. my speaking skills get worst 😛 so i have to try harder to speak clear and pay attention to what they are saying because of course there will b a topic i know nothing about and then i give up and don’t even try to hang out any more. i do have a few friends, dont worry 🙂 and with family, well unfortunately no matter what progress i make and how great thing can be going with me, there will always be something negative or sad to hear… and for sure nothing nice. when friends are like that, i simply stay away or stop fiends ships, with family – i cant do that.

        Your point and ideas for using my bilingual skills are great! i dont think i can so something that high up as you are saying, but i can start low and see what happens…maybe leading to those jobs you mentioned 🙂

        Thank you so much for you support. this week has been a bit of emotional up and down. at work and personal. to come here and read such positive and supportive words is great 🙂 🙂

      • Darling Cali… of the hardest things to do in life is believe in ourselves. For every “pro” we know, we can think of 10 “cons”. But, as NJBev so eloquently says, try to focus on all those “pro’s” and the wonderful things about you so that THEY grow, and then all those other things will get put into perspective.

        Know that…all of us out here see you for the special woman that you are. Take in that reflection so you can see it for yourself!

        Much Love & Hugs! 🙂

  1. holly molly, do you remember that i had a meeting the other day and i said i just got more work to do? well i got more yesterday and again today. i LOVE it! i want to be busy by geeez there is only one of me 😛

    • Well, it sounds like a lot of people are seeing your merits and qualities and liking and respecting them! That can be a double edged sword! LOL! But, it should make you feel good. They wouldn’t be asking if they did not see you for the capable, intelligent woman that you are! 😛

  2. Dang, this was a tough one for me! In a good way. This was loaded with really encouraging, thoughtful words and insights.

    Finding your way to your truth, especially when lost – this part, is very hard. I feel a bit lost these days and, of course, this seems to be exacyly when others offer their opinions the most. It’s not easy to hear their words with your ears but not your heart. I try. But then the reaction, as mentioned in this blog, kicks in. I end up feeling pissed off or hurt. I definitely give a lot of power to other people’s words.

    I really enjoyed Wednesday’s humor blog, BTW!!!!! 😀 😀

    Thanks for a great blog Mardrag!!

      • Thanks Cali! This is a very supportive and helpful place!

        It sounds like you had a good meeting at work – you got more responsibilities – that is great!! They obviously know how awesome you are. I’m really happy for you!

    • You are welcome Boo! It is definitely hard to listen with your ears and not your heart….but sometimes, if you listen closely, you will hear that the words can not touch your heart because they do not reflect your truth. This is where you are to be truthful with yourself.

      It all takes practice! Keep at it!
      Love & Hugs! 😀

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