Managing Anxiety

 

“Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.”  ~ Soren Kierkegaard

“Worrying is carrying tomorrow’s load with today’s strength- carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” ~ Corrie ten Boom

“Each moment of worry, anxiety or stress represents lack of faith in miracles, for they never cease.”  ~ T. F. Hodge

“Anxiety’s like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you very far.”  ~ Jodi Picoult

“Man is not worried by real problems so much as by his imagined anxieties about real problems.”  ~ Epictetus

“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.”  ~ Amit Ray

from the Desk of MarDrag:

Lately, we have been having many conversations about anxiety….the levels it can get to, the stress it causes, and the ramifications it can have on our lives. Anxiety keeps us from living our authentic lives, our true lives that we are meant to live, were put here to live. Each of our individual threads that weave through this great tapestry we are part of have a special significance. But our anxiety about our threads…..how they weave, where they weave, why, in what direction, are they good enough to complete the landscape of the tapestry, do they add enough beauty to the picture…..and so many more questions and worries…. lead our threads astray. And anxiety frays the fibers of our strands, little by little, until we are hanging by a mere thread.

As one of the quotes above says, anxiety gives us something to do, but it is not “the thing” we are meant to do and it does not move us forward. And as we have discussed before, out of all those things that we worry about, how many actually come true?  If we were to make a list, we could likely prove that our worries far outweigh the things that actually happen.

Worry distracts us from our goals. We may start our day with good intentions, but if we allow anxiety to take command of the day, we are sidetracked and sidelined, forced into a place that we truly do not wish to be, but find ourselves helpless to divert from.

So, consider this. Consider taking command of the anxiety. Easier said than done I hear you say. But, look at the idea that anxiety is not an entity outside us that takes us over….it is a thing within us that, if we can muster the courage, we CAN take control of it and show it to it’s place.

So try this. Make a daily goal for when you feel anxiety come on or escalate and threaten to derail you from having the kind of day or accomplishments you desire or intend. Make that goal simple, clear and easy to achieve. A goal such as listening to a particular song when the anxiety approaches. Or doing an exercise. Or cooking a particular item. Perhaps drawing or writing if you are creative. Or read a certain passage of a book that calms you.  Make it the same easily attainable goal that you use every day. Consistency is important…and it will create a safe and comfortable cushion for you to divert to should you have an issue with anxiety. You will know that you have a firm focus to rely on, and when you focus on something other than worry….you transcend that worry and move on to other thoughts that are more enjoyable. Use breath to help you steady, drawing long deep breaths into your body as you pull your power around you and get grounded.

The idea is for YOU to choose a Focus that takes your attention away from the anxiety (rather than the anxiety choosing the focus)….and this gives you power, which also takes any power away from those anxious feelings. Even if it doesn’t seem to work at first or takes effort, keep doing it. Your mind, and your Wiser Self, will begin to see the change in pattern and follow suit. And soon, you will find you will be back in command of your thoughts, and your life.

Everyone deserves quality of life. Choose that, rather than anxiety and see what comes to you in the space that opens up when it is not filled with worry.

Blessings!

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25 comments on “Managing Anxiety

  1. Good Morning, everyone! Hope you all have a good day!

    Excellent blog, Mardrag. Thank you.

    I think Focus is essential in overcoming anxiety/stress. “Make it the same easily attainable goal that you use every day.” That makes perfect sense!!

    I really liked the quotes. All of them are really good. The rocking chair quote was smart and funny!

    oxox

  2. It’s funny how much time we waste worrying about things that never come to pass or things we can’t change. I’m guilty of it all the time, but will strive to do better.

  3. Hi Mardag and Boo,
    great blog as allways.

    you are right aboit everything, like the good intention we may have and then we let anxiety take over. i slept like 12 hrs last night. i woke up so so rested and with great positive attitude. then things started tk happen at work, that started the anxiety. not even about what is happening right now but about what those things can mean in the long run. I had to stop and come to your blog to take a fee minutes from that. i am dealing with those little things, and i should not worry.

    i hope you have a nice day!

    • Hi Cali! I totally know what you mean – the anxiety/stress always seems to turn onto that ‘what-if’ type of thinking! I do the same thing – I come here and read. I also do deep breathing exercises/meditate. At work, I used to eat by myself or go for a walk when I needed to get away from whatever stressed me out. I recently realized that I need quiet down-time more often than I thought I did.

      It’s amazing how anxiety is always about what will happen down the road! I get exactly what you mean. It’s like trying to guess what other people will do or think and what that will lead to. Or wondering what will happen if this or that happens. I try to remember that I am the only thing I can control. Sometimes this helps.

      I have to work on this! ((Cali))

  4. Thanks MarDrag!
    Trying to think how I could incorporate this into my situation…..I have thunderstorm anxiety/panic, usually I down a couple of shots of Jagermeister and cry and pray, lol.

    ‘Course that doesn’t work when I get “driving” anxiety and have a few hundred more miles to go 😛

    • Hi JustDee!

      Well, knowing what you have been through, I can completely see why you get anxious during a storm! I think a tornado would scare me so much that I would actually evaporate into thin air! Just *poof*, gone! No kidding.

      Getting through Hurricane Sandy was incredibly difficult for me. We were in a mandatory evacuation area so I evacuated our home but my husband did not. I was so upset that he refused to come with me! I was sick with worry. I cried and prayed too. But mostly I stayed on NMD’s blog and posted my ass off. It kept me distracted and connected so I didn’t feel alone. I also thought about your tornado story – how you got through it and how you were protected.

      LOL@ not being able to down Jager and then drive! No, I guess you are right – that wouldn’t really go over too well! 😉

      OMG – and you know what has me totally freaked out right now – this Flu bullsh*t! What in the Sam Hell is going on w/this!?? I have aged my hands by 35 years from all the scrubbing!

      • Boobah…I recall all of us on the blog during that time worrying about all of you out there. I didn’t know your husband stayed behind.

        So glad you both came through that safely. It must have been so stressful! So glad you are ok!

      • Boobah –
        I WISH I could evaporate into thin air when the storms come!

        I can’t imagine what it must have been like when your husband stayed behind. I bet once you knew he made it through alive you wanted to kill him lol.

    • Hi JustDee….so good to see you! I understand about the storm, I recall your story about it. Jager, tears & prayer CAN work, but if you are ever faced with that again….have a plan set up for yourself. think about what it is in your life that you enjoy that calms you, and have that set up so you can choose it as a focus. And, have a couple of shots!

      As far as driving….calming music helps…OR talk radio or a CD with talking. Record one with your own voice saying calming and relaxing things to yourself. hearing your own voice reinforces that you have the strength and knowledge to calm your anxiety.

      Just some suggestions. love & Hugs!! 😀

      • Hi MarDrag! I’m sooo behind! Ugh.
        I DO listen to talk radio when I drive and I’ve tried the spa music channel. Maybe not for long enough though. But it’s getting better…gradually…. 😀

      • Hi Darling JustDee! I have been thinking about you and hope you are doing ok. We worry when we don’t hear from you! 😀

        Gradual is good. There are no overnight fixes. Keep trying!

        I hope your mom is doing alright and you are hanging in there. Let us know if there is anything we can do….and know we are here for you!

        Many Hugs!!

      • I’ve just been busy early the last couple of days. Monday had to be coffeed, showered and dog walked by 6am! Yesterday had electrician at 8, ac repair guy at 10, had to meet handyman at Home Depot at 1, THEN had to go buy a dishwasher.

        Mom not doing well at all. ::::sigh::::
        Yet she INSISTS on me getting all this condo stuff done RIGHT NOW.

      • Wow, busy lady!! So much to handle.:( sending you some energy stat!

        I am very sorry to hear your mom is not doing well Dee. I know it is to be expected, but that does not make it any easier to deal with. The “condo stuff” probably feels like the last time she will have any control over anything, so she is “going for it”.

        Deep breaths sweetie…..deep breaths! Hugs!

  5. Loved the quotes Mardrag. I don’t know if I could manage my anxiety with
    your suggestion, perhaps if they mainly occurred during the day.

    My anxiety takes place mostly at night. As I’m trying to sleep, the mind races…
    When I’m sound asleep, I’ll jump up and inhale like it’s going to be my
    last breath. When I wake up early and am laying in bed and the mind wanders
    where it has no place going………
    I’ve mentioned it before, I call it “anticipation anxiety” the fear of what could
    happen if…. (much like the way Boobah described) and how I will be able
    to handle it. I usually take a xanax. I cannot talk myself down.

    Another good example is when I’m prepping for a Holiday meal that I’m
    hosting, or if we are going somewhere that I’m not 100% comfortable about
    going.
    1) Thanksgiving, 25 people coming, prepping for days if not weeks and people
    will be arriving in an hour, my hubs will start “did you” “what about?” “how come”
    all crap he could have addressed long before. I feel like he is purposely
    sabotaging me….. I’ll go into the shower and will feel my heart beating in my
    throat…. and shake… I got thru those events by slamming a bottle of wine
    down my throat. Now, I take 1/2 a Xanax and tell hubs to go F^ck himself.
    NO MORE with that crap.
    2) Same thing when getting ready. Doesn’t matter how early I start- I was always
    swallowing my heart before we left. He would come up to me and say “can you iron
    this?’ ” “did you feed the dog?” “did you???” whatever,
    or, the best one, “Is that what you’re wearing?” I’m always 10 minutes late-
    no matter how hard I try.

    My Anxiety goes in cycles, I think that happens with others as well.
    I am going thru a lot right now, #1 caring for my elderly
    Mother and trying to decide which avenue to take, receiving no help from sibling and a resulting fallout with said sibling.
    #2 Guilt. Taking care of Mom robs me of all my time and patience resulting in
    nothing being left for my Husband and child-
    #3 The aftermath of Hurricane Sandy. Rebuilding. dealing with insurance, vendors,
    builder, and making decisions I have no desire to make- it took forever
    just to catch up from the loss of power-
    #4 everyday stupid Bullsh*t. Racing to bank to make deposit for “Mom”
    and ripping the side mirror off the new truck. Another $500- for what?
    another stupid mistake-

    And there’s another thing. All this running around, and not paying attention.
    I’m always banging into walls, falling down, tripping, hitting my head, I’m
    one huge bruise and several lumps.
    Oh, and yesterday I chipped my front tooth in half. Now I have to
    find 1/2 day to get to dentist.

    I started to feel better as I was writing this and then the panic hit as I was
    talking about my tooth—-

    I’m going to shut down now and enjoy the rest of my evening. Housewives
    tonight. woo hoo

    Thanks for listening. Hope I didn’t scare anyone-
    xo

    • NJBev….you didn’t scare me at all. But I feel for you and am concerned. You have so much on your plate to deal with and the things in this post might not be enough to help. I can’t write the length and breadth of post I would like to…..there is so much more to say and do.

      So….let me put this out to you. I have some things that can help you deal with all this and help you to regain your balance, in mind, body & spirit. Your body is telling you something and you should listen.

      I work with people in person and over the phone and I would really like to work with you to help you through this. I have some great yet simple techniques that have helped people with your kind of anxiety. Though your circumstances may not be able to change….you CAN still find a modicum of calm and balance. I would LOVE to show you how to do that.

      Email me at the address in my contact page and let’s talk (if you are inclined). I really want to help!! (I am fiercely private and discreet!)

      • Oh, please do NJBev!! I really do care about you…..and I know I can help. Others that I work with find relief right away, and I am so happy for them when they do.

        Email me…and let’s talk logistics. You do deserve to have your life back and to take care of you for a change!

        So Many Hugs to you!!

    • 😦 NJBev 😦 i am sorry about your mom, not getting help and puting you family a bit in the side. no wonder you feel like that 😦 I hope you get help and you find some peace to help you get through it all. I dont have any of those obligations, and i get the evening blues. I cant imagine what your evening are like. Take care of number 1, and that my lady is you. feeling guilty may be making you not take care of your self and what you need, like rest and take it easy. I hope you do take care of your self and feel better. (((NJBev)))

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