Someone quite close to me has a life issue with Fear, so I took to my “Affirmation Cards” (by Amy Zerner & Monte Farber) to see what message I could find to help her with this issue. Many people experience this, and have a problem allowing fear to command their life and decisions. It can keep a person from having a full life or making decisions that need to be made.
The card I pulled about this is:
“Gift of Compassion ~ I Use My Fears As Signs That Guide And Protect Me”
The message is: “Use this gift when your fears prevent you from acting in your best interest. Our fears exist to help keep us safe from harm and from repeating mistakes we have made. If we seek to understand why we are afraid, we can make fear our friend and helper, not our master. It is important to avoid fearing success and the many changes it will bring.”
So, fear is a two-sided coin. On one side, fear is our helper. It keeps us safe from harm and lets us know when something is in our path that we should stay away from, or alerts us to danger or harm. It also helps us to remember past mistakes that we are “afraid” to make again, and if we listen, we make better choices and decisions because of that fear.
But, there is the other side of the coin of fear also. That fear debilitates us if we allow it to. That fear can take command of our lives and cause us to shut down and stop living the life we are meant to live, and enjoy. It can keep us from new experiences, growing, and having loving people in our lives. It can also, as the affirmation says, keep us from moving forward to success and the changes being successful can bring. You have heard the saying…it is easier to be a failure than to fear success.
You have also heard, I am sure, the saying that the only thing to really fear is fear itself. And I do believe this is true. So, if we seek to understand what we fear and why we fear, then we can either release it and let it go, or master it, so we can function in spite of it…rather than allowing it to master us.
The thing is, fear is inside of us, so we have created it. And, if we create something, we can “uncreate” it. Knowledge is power, so if we gain knowledge about our fears, then they become less powerful, (as our power grows), and they have less and less impact. In addition, those things we fear “will happen” most of the time don’t happen….and we have spent all that energy on the fear instead of on taking action, or on being happy.
So, ask yourself this question….what purpose does fear have in my life? Write it down, make a list of pros and cons (like a two-sided coin). Writing brings clarity, and a list will show you what to keep and what to discard. Draw a line through the fears that do not serve you. Put the list somewhere you can see it and, when you feel a fear taking command, look to the list to see if it is one that helps you. If it is not, and it has a line through it, remind yourself you have crossed that one “off your list” and discarded it….and it has no power over you anymore. And let it go. The more you do this, the more your mind will retrain itself to recognize a healthy fear, or one that keeps you hindered in your life, and soon, you will not be controlled by it any longer. YOU will have the control back.
Seek to be the Mistress/Master of your life and all things in your mind and heart. You are the commander…..steer yourself in the right direction!