Wednesday ~ “Getting Over The Hump Day” Humor

 

Happy Wednesday! I am doing something a little different for our humor blog today and dedicating it to all the wonderful, overworked, tired but loving parents out there who could use a good chuckle mid-week.

Enjoy & Blessings!

“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.”  ~ Erma Bombeck

“I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can’t find me until after high school.”  ~ Author Unknown

“If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says “keep away from children.” ~ Susan Savannah

“No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I’m not talking about the kids.”  ~ Bill Cosby

“The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.” ~ Lane Olinghouse

“There are few things more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.”  ~ Doug Larson

“In general, my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced on television.”  ~ Erma Bombeck

These are actual School Excuse Notes from parents (including spelling):

My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31,32, and also 33.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault. (my favorite!)

Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

11 comments on “Wednesday ~ “Getting Over The Hump Day” Humor

  1. Thanks for the laughs MarDrag. I’m glad mine are grown but am looking forward to a granchild I can spoil and hand back to his parents. Lol.

  2. Perfect for hump day. Thanks for some very good laughs.
    “Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.” – I’m not sure I even want to know what that really means… 😀

    • Your welcome sweetie.

      JustDee…..I was thinking today (uh oh, dangerous! LOL!) how much you have grown just from the first time a couple of months ago that you started reading the blog and having conversations. It shows….and I just wanted to tell you that and acknowledge you for it, and let you know how glad I am for you. Hugs!

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