What We Think They Think We Think They Think :)


“Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?”  ~ Brigham Young

“Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it, the tree is the real thing.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

“Reputation is what others think of us; character is what God knows of us. When you have spent what feels like eternity trying to repair a few moments of time that destroyed the view others once had of you, then you must ask yourself if you have the problem or is it really them? God doesn’t make us try so hard, only people do.”  ~ Shannon L. Alder

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves, regret for the past and fear of the future.”  ~ Fulton Oursler

“We are what our thoughts have made us, so take care about what you think. Words are secondary, thoughts live. They travel far.”  ~ Swami Vivekananda

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”  ~ Wayne W. Dyer

“Be yourself, the world worships the original.”  ~ Ingrid Bergman

from the Desk of MarDrag:

This post is going to continue a bit in the vein of the last post, “Love of the Self”. There was a good deal of response and discussion, both here on the blog and in “real life”, and one thing that stood out from those discussions was the concept of giving power to what others think or say about us and how that affects our level of Self-Love.

From the moment we are born, there are voices around us prodding our growth and giving their opinions, teachings, and critiques. Some voices are encouraging and loving, and some are heated and damaging. We learn from those voices……and also the voices that start talking inside our heads. They respond to what we hear around us and tell us how to feel about ourselves. It is a matter of life that, unless we become hermits, we have to learn to handle and deal with. Sometimes we are good at it, and sometimes voices and judgments get through that impact our self-esteem and confidence, and we start believing the things that we hear that tell us we are not good enough. When the voices outside of us (no matter what they say) grow louder than the loving voice within us, we can be hampered by that and spend much of our lives feeling inadequate and unlovable.

I call this “giving our power up to the voices”. We all have personal power and we have the choice of how to use it and what to give it to. By nature, we tend to give our power up to those words, people, and ideas around us that speak the loudest or touch us in some way. If that is not an empowering voice, and we believe it, we give our power up to those words and make them our own, whirling them through our minds, hearts and souls…..and we make decisions about ourselves from that process. Before we know it, we have a skewed sense of who we are, and we have lost a great deal of our personal power.

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves, regret for the past and fear of the future.”  ~ Fulton Oursler ~ This is such a powerful quote because of its truth. How many of us spend so much time suspended between these two “thieves” which rob us of the beauty, truth and confidence of our present and who we truly are. We spend so much time worrying about the past, and what the future will hold, that we miss the enjoyment of just being ourselves. Which is the best part of us.

But we can reclaim that power, and with it make another decision. We can gather that power back around us, take it back from the words and ideas that fed the concept that we do not deserve our own love (or others), and change the way we look at ourselves. And, as Wayne Dyer’s quote says….when you change how you look at something, that something will change as well.

So, take a moment to see all the threads of power around you that you are giving away to words and ideas that come from other people. Gather those threads and pull them back in around you. Wrap yourself up in those threads and reclaim the power that you have otherwise given away to beliefs that are not your own. Feel your power envelope you in a warm and loving embrace. It has wanted to be there with you all along.

With those threads back around you, now make a firm decision that the only opinion that you should be concerned with is your own. It simply does not matter what others think of you, those thoughts belong to the others and do not belong in your space. Let them go to go back where they belong, just keep the threads of power they were attached to. Bless all those around you, and let them know you love them, but you are going to think on your own now and make up your own mind about who you are. And feel empowered by that!

Feel the freedom and the power that now swirls around you. You can stand within your own space and be who you are and love yourself for it. You deserve it!


P.S. Also consider that….many times we think we know what others think and we are off the mark. So the best thing to do is not spend any time worrying about what others think in the first place!


10 comments on “What We Think They Think We Think They Think :)

  1. Great blog! I read yesterday’s blog as well and between the two, there is much food for thought. In fact I marinaded in yesterday’s blog for a while.

    In my studies, I once read an interesting theory. I wish I could remeber who hypothesized it. Here it is : For every negative statement uttered, it takes 8 opposite & equal statements to undo the damage to the recipient. Of course this cannot truly be proven, like many theories out there. But it did make me think. So, if I were called dumb once by another I would need to be told either by myself or another that I was intelligent? Then I thought maybe that’s why blogs like this are so valuable and important. In today’s fast paced world dictated by chores, errands, To-do Lists, and countless tasks to just get to the end of the day unscathed….maybe we forget to be good to ourselves and say Good Job.

    Mardrag you remind me to pay attention to myself and stop listening to all the outside nonsense.

    • Boobah…this is great! Love your comments. I had not heard about the theory you mention, but it makes complete sense. It is similar to a theory I read in the past that, if you have 2 children, and you repeatedly tell one they are stupid while telling the other they are smart…they will grow up to believe exactly what they are told. And it would take years of therapy to correct the one that “believes” they are stupid.

      If we stop to think about it…..how much time do we spend “thinking” about Negative comments or things we are told vs. time spending thinking about Positive feedback and things we are told? We brush off the Positive and obsess on the Negative. It should be the other way around!

      If we can change how we see that….then we can change how we feel about ourselves…and we can allow ourselves to love us and be loved. And most certainly to be ok with, in fact make a point to, tell ourselves “Good Job”.

      I love our conversations here. I am so glad you find good things here that help you in your life! 🙂 (Which helps me too!)

      • ((Mardrag)) People like you make the world a better place.

        You are so right – we will re-play the negative thoughts over & over and toss out the positive. That is so backwards. I think it’s so true that if we make a concerted effort to place more emphasis on the postive thoughts, the benefits will be amazing…better health, relationships, job performance, more hobbies/recreation, etc. Life would improve so much. Yet this seems so hard to do.

        One way I stay away from negative is to avoid the news except when there is a crisis. like Hurricane Sandy. In fact, a few years ago I subscribed to TheGoodNewsNetwork online (I forget the exact website) and it reported all the positive things in the world – the stories of heroism, acts of triumph, heartwarming animal tales (teeheee, pun intended), and other feel-good stories. It seem like the regular news programs are all negative and dooms-dayish. Too much for me. Now, I spend some of my down time with my blog buddies! 🙂

  2. Thank you Boobah…that is sweet. You are one of those people too.

    I like your ideas on ways to stay away from negative input. The news focuses so much on negative that I rarely watch it either. I know a lot is going on in the world, but we need to start reporting more on the things that are going right vs. the things that are going wrong. maybe more would go right if we changed our focus.

    But….we CAN do that for ourselves in our own small ways. Change the perspective and the outcome will change. 🙂

  3. thanks MarDrag, it is nice to have this place to come to. having something positive to read and a way of commenting. all your blogs have been very helpful.

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